Oh my stars and hose-ery!

I am loathe to admit it, but at our house, hoses litter the property like old jalopies. Between Ryan’s parents’preference to leave them in puddles by every spicket around the house* and my own apathy about cleaning them later (generally because Ryan’s parents get them out and leave them out next time, anyway), our hoses are permanent fixtures in the landscape. I try not to notice, but some days — those days where I’m feeling tense or out of sorts — it drives me batty.

I understand, for some folks (like Ryan’s parents) it’s a matter of ease and convenience. But, for me, it’s really a matter of respect. To me, leaving the hoses in the lawn or even in loose swathes by all the spickets is like leaving your sheets in rumples and your bed unmade. It’s like leaving your chair out after you leave the table, or your shoes strewn about the floor. Aesthetically it creates unnecessary clutter. It also shows a lack of reverence for the tool and the gifts it gives us. Meanwhile, it contributes to the premature demise of the hose, which compromises my values related to low consumption and sustainability. …Am I channeling a little OCD? Perhaps. Are there bigger issues in my life that cry out for concern? For sure. But, why not manage even “the little things in life”? I think this neighbor in Old Town Fort Collins would agree.

So, how do we keep our hoses in great condition?

photo via *Karo* on Flickr

Some of these may be common sense, diehard rules you already live by. But the more people I meet, the more I’m convinced that common sense isn’t always so common. And, if you’re like me, sometimes the best of intentions give way to fatigue or time constraints. So, I offer these suggestions as gentle reminders for us gardening veterans and as tricks of the trade for any readers who may be new to gardening.

• Get Kinky: As you retract your hoses, whether you’re winding them up in your hands, coiling them in a pot or wrapping them onto a hook or spool, take the time to free the hose from kinks and unravel the knots. When water pressure builds up, kinks can cause your hose to rupture. Not a happy moment.
• Wipe Out: Keep your boy parts and girl parts clean.** Maybe I’m overstating the obvious, but mud and grit can get into the grooves, and that makes it a pain in the ass to righty-tighty lefty loosey hoses into spickets and other hoses. I don’t know about you, but I have a hard enough time lining up the edges and the angles even when the his and hers parts are clean! Why make it any harder than it already is? Besides, from a conservation perspective, it’s important to close the gaps - you don’t want to waste water as it sprays up against the side of your hose, down into your basement window wells or poof! into pretty evaporation rainbows out in the middle of the yard.
• Reel Time: Some people really like reels. I’m not one of them. To me, they’re awkward and heavy. I’ve also tried a few different models, and they’ve all broken. So, while I like the idea of hose reels, I’ve yet to find one that functions well. I’m willing to admit I may be doing something that’s causing the reels to fail… so if you’ve got a proven winner, let’s hear about it!
• Seek Shelter: To keep your hoses strong, supple and flexible, you need to keep them out of the elements — especially the sun. Sunshine, being a form of radiation, will weaken the walls of your hoses. You may decrease their lifespan and increase their susceptibility to leaks or bursting (especially if you’re less than vigilant about kinks.) But, your hoses may suffer if you leave them out in the cold, too. As temperatures drop below freezing, any water left in your hoses (or that re-enters even if you’ve already drained them), may freeze and rupture them.

Tomorrow I’ll share some of my favorite hose storage options, from hooks to pots and back again. Hardly sexy garden talk, but for folks like me who live in a sunny, windy, dry, dry climate sans irrigation lines — hoses are nearly as important as my sun bonnet.

Related posts:

1. Hose-annah! Hose Storage Solutions
2. “Hose” your daddy?
3. The Hose Knows